missing ignorance

A friend asked me an interesting question the other day… it was your typical date question (unbeknown to me we were on a pretty bad date). A question that after a bottle and a half of wine was supposed to set him up with a perfect first date answer... (and here I revert your attention back to the words "a bottle and a half of wine" and point out that my friend obviously didn’t know what he was getting himself into). He asked me what I missed most. I didn't say anything for a little bit, actually deeply thinking about the question. He must normally date dim whits and airhead who probably answer him with something like "my stuffed bear bo-bo". So while I was thinking he took my silence as his time to fill the air with his obviously rehearsed "I miss being a boyfriend" speech… As I was pouring the last of the second bottle into my glass, I looked up at him and interrupted his lengthy dribble about how great of a guy he was. “Not knowing”, he looked at me with curiosity, "Not knowing is what I miss the most". He didn't really say much after that. I am assuming he realized I wasn't paying attention to his over thought out play to date me. But I thank him, even if it was a really bad "date", for reminding me of being young and innocent again.

What I miss most is not knowing. I miss the simplicity of naivety. I miss the creativity and imagination that comes from delving into a bright, unknown world. A world which hasn’t been muddied by the woes of reality. I miss learning new things and I miss the innocence of the lesson learned. I miss lowered expectation, of me and of others.

I received an email from one of those daily thoughts, blah, blah, blah websites that preach ideals of a perfect you (yea I'm acting like I didn’t sign myself up for it, but truth be told I read each email daily). It was entitled "Honest Wisdom, the power of not knowing". The article is really about being able to admit that you don’t know everything, but it refreshed my memory about my thoughts the other evening: There is freedom in saying "I don’t know." And we, as adults, should feel no shame in saying, "I don't know." In doing so, we open ourselves up to the unknown.
Full circle… I'm out.